PLEASE REMIND ME

It is a New Year unlike any other for me, in that I find a sense of dread attached. Normally I am excited for the fresh start, motivated by some new theme for the upcoming year, and happy to be moving forward. It's just...different this time.

We were well into December before I even considered the need to pray into a new word for 2019. As 2018 draws to a close, I see where the word "Refresh" has held true. I have made great strides in pausing to breathe deep before reacting, in asking for new perspective, and in taking time for soul food. A trip to the East Coast eased my inner ache for the ocean, and year-end feedback restored the confidence and passion in my career. 

In many ways, I have much to be excited about - both this year and in years to come. The birth of our first grandchild inspired me to continue the search for a weight loss program that works. There are proposals, home purchases and more grandbabies ahead. One might say we're just getting started!

Still, there's this dread: a deep, if unexplainble, knowledge that the coming year will hold significant challenges. I am at a bit of a loss to explain my confidence in choosing the word "Freedom" for the year ahead. Suffice it to say that I hear God's voice primarily through repetition, and that has been evident in the choosing and confirmation of this theme. Perhaps the dread stems from the knowledge that freedom means leaving something behind; I am terrified to find out what the "something" might be.

This brings me to my request:

If at any point in the days/weeks/months to come you sense that I am struggling, please remind me. Remind me of my deep and abiding faith, confirmed as recently as this morning after a conversation with a dear elder in our church. After I confided my feelings on the coming year, the opening prayer gave thanks for God's presence in our trials as well as our celebrations. 

Remind me of my commitment to see every day as an adventure with Jesus, and my belief that nothing surprises Him. Remind me that freedom never comes without cost - but it is a prize worth pursuing. Remind me that I am a survivor, and that my creed continues to be Philippians 4:13 - "I can do all things through Christ, Who gives me strength." Remind me that nothing we live through is ever wasted: it either makes us better personally, or gives us a means to help others. 

Onward, then, to the New Year. To freedom. Thank you for traveling with me.

P.S. This photo just "randomly" showed up in my social media feed. 😏